Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah...
The past two weeks had been incredible, MasyaAllah... By Allah swt's Will, I began to understand a wee bit about how rizq (rezeki; sustenance) comes from Allah swt.
I got a handful of design requests almost one after another and to be honest, even though I've managed to complete all of them, I'm not happy with myself.
Because there was one rather major design request that I myself requested for a period of two weeks to complete. However, being someone who works best under pressure, I procrastinated. Yes the other designs played a role, but I was just so weak... procrastinating like that.
I'm not happy with myself because I know that by over-riding the deadline, it will put the client in inconvenience. I honestly don't mind if they were to reduce the payment because of that - I broke that trust.
I hate it when I hurt others, or trouble others. I won't forgive myself that easily. Actually in reality, I don't have the right to forgive myself. I can only attempt to ridha. Don't you think so?
Because Allah is The Oft-Forgiving, The Most Merciful.
Yeah, yeah, welcome to my head. Constant self-criticism, constant self-bashing. ;)
I am not in the best of states right now, to be honest. I keep forgetting to Praise Him, Glorify Him, seek forgiveness from Him, be content with His Will, to make my niyyah all for Him... and to praise His Beloved s.a.w. My tongue is dry from dzikr! Astaghfirullah...
Yet
I suppose this is the wisdom in us humans being inconsistent. So that we would have the motivation to be better persons tomorrow, InsyaAllah.
In other news, I realise I'm pretty much using a lot of my free time for volunteering. Sort of. I've been considering about setting up a really cheap graphics designing service as a source of income while I try and try to find a full-time, if not part-time job.
I shared with Mohksin from Fityan Ghufran that I was at a complete loss of what occupation I wish to go into a week ago. Glad to know I'm not the only one who faced this crisis, thanks bro =) And he's been so kind to inform me of every job vacancy that comes along, MasyaAllah... May Allah swt Bless you for your die-die-won't-stop-helping-others attribute =)
Right now, I'm involved with two projects. One is something I've long wanted to do since the start of my poly years. Another is simply something I was roped into last minute, but I love it anyways =)
I've also shifted from Sultan to En-Naeem, partially as an effort to please and comfort my parents (because our parents' wrath is also Allah swt's Wrath) and mostly FisabilIllah. They're just concerned about my coming home late. So if I want to be active in a masjid youth, I might as well be at a masjid closer to home.
Why not the masjid that's even nearer, you may wonder.
=) Because my heart has been tied to En-Naeem for the past two years. =)
Can't wait to start working with En-Naeem youths! Hehe!
Anyway... can you believe it's Dzulhijjah already? MasyaAllah how time flies... I want to use this month as a reflection on the past year. So many changes... so many... blessings from Him that I probably did not show gratitude for...
I also like to use this month as a way to refresh my memory about the Hajj. Tons of videos about it on Youtube =) So InsyaAllah I'll post videos to do with the Hajj =)
Here's one for you:
Okaaay it's 3 am, I better sleep now. That's precisely why this post is titled nocturnal; I've spent the past 5 days awake at night consecutively because of the designs. Aaahhh the hikmah of not getting a full-time job has shown itself... Alhamdulillah... I've skipped my usual weekend of 'ilm because of it too, but FisabilIllah all the same, InsyaAllah...
I hope they're pleased with it...
And that He's Pleased with it =)
